"If
I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am
a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand
all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove
mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions,
and if I hand over my body so that I may boast,* but do not have love, I gain
nothing. Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or
arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or
resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7t
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.""
1Corinthians
Within the context of a healthy,
growing relationship God's promise is that we will find mutuality, love &
belonging, freedom, fun and learning and the ability to grow and thrive
as the vital people God created us to be. Mutual relationship provides
an opportunity to support one another through hard times and good, it provides
a chance to really know and to be known by another person. It can indeed
enable us to endure much of what life throws in our path. May God bless you
with growth and hope as you begin this new journey with someone you love. At Grace-St.
Andrew's we invite you to reach out for support, prayer and spiritual
direction if you find that your relationship is in a place of
transition, growth or crisis. We can
help you to find supports that work for you and that honor your needs at this
point in your life. Support is really just a call a way.
The whole
concept of life-long marriages spanning 50 or more years are a relatively
new construct in society. It is only in the last 80-100 years that medical
advances have made it possible for two people to expect a lengthy lifespan
and therefore relationship. Prior to that, wedding vows said: "until
death do us part" knowing that death would soon claim one partner
through child birth or infection. As a society it is not surprising then
that we have not learned how to sustain healthy long term relationship.
It is something that we are "learning as we go" with very few resources
or supports to help us along the way.
Many people stay
in unhealthy long-term relationships because they are afraid of the alternatives
rather than because the relationship is life-giving. That's where the community
of faith comes in. We believe that marriage takes attentiveness
and patience and requires that the Community of Faith support us through
the difficult times. It is easy for couples to "fall into patterns"
that decrease intimacy and cause each other pain and fear. These patterns
sometimes grow out of a couple's response to crisis, are necessary coping
tools for a time and then need to be replaced as the relationship moves on
to another phase. Healthy relationships grow and change constantly, leaving
behind behaviours that limit intimacy, and finding new ways of exploring
one another. Our ministry team is available to you to help you to find
supports that work for you. It is so easy to sit down with a third person
to work through issues when the issues are still small. But when unhelpful
patterns span months and even years, they become harder to change. We
believe that good marriages make use of supports when they need them. And
we believe that the faith community can help!
We believe and celebrate that God walks with us as
we grow in faith and love for one another. This gives Christian relationship the
potential to be a place of wholeness, healing and energy for both partners. We
are also aware of the reality of human failure and the damage that can be done
to the human spirit when marriages fall into patterns that close off
communication between partners.
At Grace-St. Andrew's
are here to support your relationship so that it remains a place of possibility
and life-giving growth for you both.